Crazy
by SapphireMind
Summary: Bella reflects back on her wedding day. ExB
1. Chapter 1

a/n: I keep meaning to not start any other stories, but then something happens and I have an idea that won't share my brain until its out.

This is my first attempt in writing 1st person. I typically don't like it, but the novels are in that voice, so I'm trying to keep it as true as possible.

Disclaimer of course, I forgot to put it in here originally. This all belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. Please don't sue!

O o o o o o o o o o o o o O

I was crazy to have allowed this. This was a mistake from the beginning. I opened my mouth to say so, but I couldn't even get my breath enough to speak.

Alice saw my gasping and rolled her eyes a little, "It's not that bad. When the wedding is all over, you'll be very glad you did it." I wasn't so sure. If I couldn't breathe now, how was I supposed get through the next six hours without dying? My vision narrowed as I remained dangerously unable to breathe.

Finally, Alice realized that I wasn't just whining and loosened, just slightly, the laces on the corset she was placing me in. I took a couple of gasping breaths, still not able to breathe easily, but a little was better than none. "You know, you're a lot stronger than you think sometimes." I shot her a baleful look as I continued panting to resume oxygen to my body.

"But don't you feel better now? It's much better than I could have gotten if I hadn't done it so tight." She grinned cheerfully, "Don't worry, I would have seen it if I had killed you."

"Thanks," I said dryly. "Couldn't we have just skipped the corset altogether," I spoke hopefully, there was still a chance she'd let me out of it.

Alice frowned, "The dress wouldn't look right without it. There are certain _lines_ that come from different undergarments and for this dress to look right, you need to have the right line," she explained again, a little impatiently. "You said you liked the dress."

"I do! I just –" I began.

"No buts then! If you like the dress, you need to do it justice. Believe me, it will be worth it. When Edward sees you, he's going to be beyond amazed." Her voice was smug and pleased. Obviously she had already seen his reaction, which I felt was a little unfair.

I looked into the full-length mirror in front of me. I almost didn't recognize myself. My hair had been swept into an elaborate updo that had taken more time than I've ever spent on my hair in my life to create. It had been set into curls and piled in an intricate fashion, with some tendrils left curled around the nape of my neck. My makeup had been expertly applied and although I knew there was a lot of it on my face, it didn't seem like it. Alice assured me it was all waterproof as well.

I was now wearing a plain white satin steel-boned corset that came low over my hips and higher on my breasts, pushing them up and out in an alarming fashion. Alice was bustling about to get the next layer of my wedding dress ready to put on.

She carefully laid a scarf over my head to protect my hair and makeup as she helped me pull the underdress on, fastening the hooks and eyes up the back than I thought possible, even for her. "It's all historical accurate," she said in a pleased voice as she helped me on with the next layer.

"My father will take this as proof that I'm crazy, you know," I said with a sigh. I love the dress, and it is perfect, but it is not any sort of style that I would typically wear.

"Your family thinks you're crazy anyway," Alice pointed out helpfully. I rolled my eyes again, although it was true.

Telling Charlie that I was engaged was just about as unpleasant as I was afraid it would be. I wish I didn't remember it so vividly, but the memories refused to be washed from my brain.

_Edward and I walked into the house, I was shaking from nervousness. Edward was the outward picture of calm, squeezing my hand lightly and looking at me with concern. I nodded to him to show I was going to be ok and we continued into the family room._

_Charlie was sitting and watching the game on TV, not even really looking up when we entered the room. I cleared my throat. "Uh, Dad, can we talk to you?" I even used Dad to butter him up. _

_Something in my tone drew Charlie's attention; he looked at us, then immediately turned the TV off and sat stiffly on the couch, as we sat down opposite him. Edward had a barely hidden smirk on his face and I wanted to elbow him. He was enjoying my torture way too much._

"_So…Edward and I really need to talk to you about something," I began nervously. My father nodded his head, with a cold hard look in his eyes, largely directed towards Edward, who looked like he was going to start laughing at any moment._

_I swallowed convulsively, my mouth going dry as I tried to get the words out, "Edward and I, well…You know I love him, you have to know that. And he loves me," I saw Charlie about to interrupt but I plowed on, "and I know you're still mad at him because of last year, but believe me when I say I trust that he is never going to leave me again." _

_Edward squeezed my hand again. I knew bringing up last year hurt him, but that's all my father saw when he looked at Edward anymore. I squeezed his cold hand back. "We love each other and that's never going to change." Now Charlie just looked defeated. I took a deep breath and finally got it out, "That's why, when he asked me to marry him, I said yes."_

_I waited nervously as I watched a volley of expressions go across Charlie's face, finally settling on concerned, "Sweetheart, I know you think you love him, but in this day and age, there's no reason you have to marry him."_

_My head spun for a moment, 'have to'? That's an odd choice of words unless…Oh God. Charlie thought I was pregnant! "I'm not pregnant, Charlie!" I blurted out in exasperation, forgetting to call him 'dad' in that moment, turning bright scarlet._

_Now Edward let out a couple of chuckles, and I glared at him. Obviously he knew what Charlie had been thinking and had kept it to himself. Charlie looked between my annoyed face and Edwards highly amused face with confusion._

"_You're not pregnant?" His voice was still dubious._

"_You have to have sex to get pregnant," I muttered under my breath, leaving off the point that not only that, you have to have sex with a person, not a vampire. Edward was now biting his lip to keep from laughing out loud and Charlie still seemed confused, though I think he heard me._

"_Then why are you getting married? You're so young!" His unspoken words were about his choice to marry young and where it got him. "You can tell me if you are, we can work it out," he added, just in case._

_Edward finally intervened on my behalf, "I'm very old fashioned, Chief Swan." Now it was my turn to smirk, "I don't believe in sex before marriage. There is absolutely no way Bella could be pregnant, at least from me," he amended. _

_Those words sent a spike of pain into my heart. Obviously, Edward couldn't get me pregnant, I knew that, but I think the way he said it was trying to say that he would forgive me if I had slept with Jacob, though he must know that I hadn't. And then the reality of the conversation hit me._

_I was discussing sex with my father. With Edward. The horrified expression and fact that my color was almost turning purple alerted both men that I was highly uncomfortable with this whole line of discussion._

_Charlie even was blushing and seemed highly embarrassed. "Well. That's good. I guess. But you shouldn't get married just because you…uh…" he trailed off, thankfully, as I felt like I was about to throw up._

_Edward frowned a little at my father's words, "That's not why we're getting married, and it's not why I asked Bella to marry me. I love your daughter, Chief Swan, and I want to spend the rest of my existence with her and making her happy."_

_He continued as I just listened to his beautiful voice. "I cannot imagine going through my life without her, and she feels the same way about me. If we both feel this way, there's no good reason to not start our lives now."_

"_What about college?" Charlie demanded._

"_I'm still going to school, Dad." I managed to interject. I'll be leaving for school after the honeymoon."_

_The meaning behind my words hit him, "You're getting married before you leave for school?"_

_I nodded and said, "August thirteenth." He opened his mouth to protest but I stopped him, "Dad, you wanted to know what was happening with me, if I was going to make any major changes. Well, I am. I am marrying Edward. I'm eighteen and you can't stop me." _

_Something in Charlie's face softened at that moment, looking sad. I knew he was thinking about when he and my mom got married. The conversation must have been pretty similar. "Alright," he said with a sigh. "You're right, I can't stop you. My parents couldn't stop me from marrying René. Just…Be careful." He then turned to Edward, "And you be careful with my daughter. You almost destroyed her once. I don't know if she would survive a second time."_

_All amusement left Edward's face and he spoke with a solemn tone, "We'll never have to find out. The only way I would ever leave her side again is if she no longer wanted me there." _

"So?" Alice's nudge and question brought me out of the memories I had been wading in. She had finished getting me dressed and had turned me around to look at the mirror and was getting annoyed with my lack of reaction.

"It's perfect," I breathed. And it was perfect. I was wearing a gorgeous satin underdress with an overdress of intricately embroidered lace with enough beading that it felt like it added five pounds. I couldn't believe how beautiful it was, and how pretty it looked on me.

Alice looked me over critically, then shook her head. "Not quite." I looked at her with puzzlement. "Well, the dress is something new. Your garter is blue. Your ring is old, but you are missing the borrowed," she said with a sly look.

My eyes widened, "No, you guys have spent too much already."

She waved her hand dismissively, "I'm not giving it to you to keep, just to borrow." She fastened a beautiful sapphire necklace around my neck and placed the earrings in my ears. "Now, it's perfect. I expect those back after the honeymoon," she said with mock sternness. I was nearly certain she bought the jewelry just for this occasion.

There was a knock on the door. "You guys ready yet?" Emmett's tired voice came through the wood. "Edward's going to have a stroke if he has to wait much longer." That thought seemed to cheer him up; torturing his brother was always good fun.

Alice looked at me and I nodded. "We're coming out. Get the music going," she said with authority. "You're going to do great, and I'm so excited to have you as my sister." She kissed my cheek and then darted off to make sure everything was ready.

I took a deep breath. This was it. I was about to get married.


	2. Chapter 2

Edited to add AN: I wanted to clarify something because of a review I received. The "Church of the Latter-Day Dude" is actually a semi-real church. I was not mocking LDS/Mormons. Go to dudeism dot com if you would like to see for yourself :D I had google'd for online churches that you could receive instant ordination and felt that one was amusing and appropriate. So there you have it.

The ceremony went more quickly than I imagined. It seemed like I had just finished walking down the aisle to Edward when it was over and I was walking the same path, but as a different person. I was now Isabella Cullen. Missus Isabella Cullen. Missus Edward Cullen. Hm. No. Isabella Cullen was enough.

The whole thing wasn't bad, I had finally come to accept what it was that I was doing. Yes, I was getting married, but that wasn't going to change how I felt about Edward, or vice-versa. It wasn't going to doom me to repeat Renee and Charlie's mistakes. It was just a tradition, for a very traditional boy.

Edward looked amazing. When I saw him for the first time waiting for me at the end of the aisle, I was afraid for a moment that I would pass out. Thank God, I was only wearing low heels. Alice must have realized that putting me in a long dress and high heels was a recipe for disaster. His face was filled with such joy and happiness; I'd never seen him quite so happy before. Even without the ability to cry, his voice broke frequently and he choked in silent tears.

Emmett, surprisingly, was very serious and formal about the whole thing. He officiated, as an official priest of the Church of the Latter-Day Dude, a church apparently based on nothing. This met with my approval and I thought was a guarantee of an amusing time, but Emmett really took things seriously. He was solemn and respectful and really did an amazing job. I could see him stealing glances at Rosalie during the ceremony and a peaceful, happy look come over his face, clearly remembering his first wedding to her.

I cried, of course. And blushed, again, it wouldn't have been me if I hadn't. But in the end, I was happy and married and Edward could barely contain his excitement as he swept me away to the reception.

The reception was lovely as well, though I got tired of saying the same few phrases over and over again. "Thank you for coming." "Thank you so much, yes I'm so happy." "We're leaving for school right after the honeymoon." "Yes, the dress is unusual, but isn't it lovely?" I almost wished I could put those phrases on a sign on my chest to avoid the repetition.

In the end though, the reception didn't last that long either. We ate, well I ate, we had our first dance, set to my lullaby, we did the requisite mother/son and father/daughter dances which brought many tears in the house. Before long, as Edward was gliding around the dance floor with me balancing on his feet, Edward whispered in my ear.

"Have you had enough yet?" His smile was still deliriously happy and he almost looked drunk or stoned. His eyes were the lightest color of topaz that I'd ever seen them and they sparkled beautifully in the light from the dance floor.

I groaned softly, "What now?" I was worried about what other surprises Alice might have planned.

"Well," he said, kissing slowly up my neck, "We've fulfilled our social obligation here. We could leave." His lips ended on mine and gave me a gentle kiss, still mindful of our audience.

I pulled back to look at his face to make sure he was serious, "Really? You don't want to stay?" I searched his eyes carefully as he shook his head to make sure he wasn't just saying it for my benefit. The passion I could see smoldering there really left little doubt and his fingers tracing slowly down my hip took away any doubt that he might really want to stay.

"Get the car," I said furtively. Edward gave me another kiss, before quickly moving over to speak to Jasper, handing him two sets of keys. I furrowed my brow at that, curious at to what he was doing.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Edward startled me by suddenly raising his voice to address the party. "My wife and I would like to thank you all for coming, it's meant more than you could ever know to have you witness the beginning of our life together." He paused as there was applause from the guests. "But, it's been a long day, and Bella's going to pass out if she doesn't get some sleep." I heard a choked cough in the back from Emmett, with Edward throwing him a warning glance at whatever his comment was. "Thank you." And without another word, he swept me up into his arms with a grin and walked quickly towards the door as I waved goodbye.

Jasper was waiting for us immediately outside, handing back one set of keys to Edward, and nodding quickly with a smirk, saying "You can count on me, brother." I raised my eyebrows at that and Edward threw me a look that clearly said he would explain later.

O o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o O

"So what was that all about with Jasper?" I asked as we were speeding down the road to the hotel where we would spend the night.

Edward chuckled, "Privacy." He saw my puzzled look, laughed again and continued. "Jasper gets a new car and a good time with his wife, if he keeps her busy and her mind off us for the night."

I blushed bright red when I realized what he meant. "How do you deal with it? With having to know too much information?" I personally felt mortified, knowing that in the future, theoretically any time Edward and I decided to have sex, Alice might be seeing it.

He shrugged with a gentle smile, reaching out to hold my hand, "You adjust. We try and be considerate of private things. Sometimes we need help keeping our minds to ourselves though." I laughed nervously as we pulled to a stop at a house.

"We're staying here?" I looked a little dubiously at the little cape cod-style house in front of us.

Edward's face fell in apology and he grasped my hand, "Please, I'm sorry. Alice helped me get everything ready, and,"

"You don't need to apologize!" I exclaimed as I interrupted him. "I just was surprised. I thought we were going to Seattle for the night." I smiled reassuringly. "I just didn't think our first night alone together with be with an elderly couple in the next room." I laughed a little and continued before he could interrupt me, "I'm sure you think I'll be safer if there are witnesses - "

Now it was Edward's turn to interrupt me, giving me a kiss before he spoke, "I told you, as sweet as your blood is to me, I've gotten over it." He brushed his fingertips lightly down his cheek. "But…If we will be…trying…." He stammered slightly and that made me smile, seeing him be less that calm. "I want a doctor nearby who could help." His eyes wouldn't meet mine at the end.

"Edward." I waited for his eyes to meet mine. "You would never hurt me. I trust you," I held his gaze tightly in my own as I spoke. "But if it makes you feel better to have Carlisle near, then that's all that matters."

He nodded, offering a hesitant smile, "I thought you might like it better than a fancy hotel anyway. More comfortable and less money." His smile fell into his crooked one that I love so well when he saw my pleased nod. "And there isn't anyone to bother us here, so don't worry about that." I threw him a puzzled look at that, but before I could blink, there he was, opening the door to the car, scooping me into his arms and carrying me to the door.

"I love you, my husband." My qualms about the formality gone, I was just as caught up as he was in the magic of the day. We were married and we would be together forever.

"I love you, my wife." Edward got the same look as he did during the ceremony, looking like he was going to cry from happiness. "Bella Cullen." He murmured the name as he kissed down my jaw-line and carried me over the threshold.

* * *

AN: I was originally intending for this to be a one-shot, but meh, people who know me know I can't stop talking once I start. I've got several other ideas of where this will be going.


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